The mere NOTION that someone can be intelligent, talented, and do porn on the side is jarring and impossible to most. (Not all, I know you supporters are out there reading this as well. I am not focusing ONLY on the narrow-minded.) Don’t get me wrong: I am not painting an impossibly pretty picture for the sake of changing anyones minds. It IS difficult. I have to wonder about an array of things it will interfere with. Here are some of the most commonly asked issues..
The being in relationship aspect: It all starts with trust. I tell my amazing partner everything. I tell him when a twink asks about doing a 3-way with us. I tell him when I think someone is attractive. I tell him my fantasies involving us with others. We do NOT have an “open relationship”, we do however have an OPEN MINDED relationship.. and the fact I share everything with him allows us to have 10000% trust. Plus, he knows there is a difference between me sharing my body with the internet and the way I share my body/soul/heart with him. Also, any porn endeavors I accept will include him in some capacity.
The affecting the rest of my career/future aspect: From the beginning of my online presence (dating back to my early teens) I have been an exhibitionist. One of the first things I did as a teen was photograph myself nude. I have taken nudes/photographed myself with hard-ons, jack off videos, etc for years. It is NOT something new for me in the self-documenting sense. My philosophy is that if you own your shit, (for better lack of phrasing) you can do anything. Every person I work with in music knows about my nudes/possible porn career. I am very upfront with everyone I work with musically and in every other area of my work. I have done way more risky/controversial things than porn. There are pictures of me ripping up a Bible from 2007. When was I ever America’s Sweetheart? What is so shocking? When was I ever Disney? I have from day ONE been inspired by punk rock philosphy and I believe that the people worth working with in the entertainment industry (Whether it is film, music, etc) will/do understand my natural exhibitionism and respect it. It will not hold me back because when you look over the barriers, they stop existing. Who, a year ago, would’ve thought my documentary would’ve been picked up by HBO?
The family aspect: My family are very conservative. They do not agree with what I do, but they are certainly not naive as to who I am. (Who could be? Jesus Christ. I came out of the womb a rainbow flag waving feminist.) I sometimes lie to them that I will do even more shocking things than I actually will, just so when I do porn they won’t be shocked. They know me and they will not stop loving me for my decision, because real love is not conditional love.
And last but not least: Sharing my sex life and sexual desires is no different than my day-to-day intimate videos, in MANY ways. It’s me letting down a wall most of society keeps up. That’s my only talent. Being my 100% self on camera- The self most of us try to hide. Bringing the shadows of who we are to light.
I also want to ask you all one question. What is the difference in singers like Madonna, who sing about sex/perform in sexual manners, yet DON’T actually have sex on camera? We all jerk off to porn stars, yet we look down on them like they’re second class citizens for suppsodley using porn as a last resort? I am doing this at the most MAINSTREAM time in my career in YEARS. I could be auditioning/doing indie films right now. This is a desire of mine and I’m doing it. If you don’t understand- fine. Just understand that not everyone who does porn is doing it because they’re trying to fill a void. I’m doing this from a self-aware EMPOWERED place. Also know that not everyone who does porn is a mindless blow-up doll looking for love in all the wrong places. I am an empowered 24 year old man and I can’t wait to share this journey with you all.
PS- What is porn anyway? ;) Is it doing a shameful, crass act on camera.. because if so, I screwed myself on camera years ago..